Rule #4: Really Know Them
Followers of Jesus should be fluent in the motives, fears, and dreams of those around them. Like we talked about in the last post, we achieve this by being great listeners.
We should strive to become so good at listening and understanding other people's beliefs that we can communicate them better than they can.
One of the great benefits of listening well is that you gain a clear picture of what someone else believes and why.
I often do interviews on the streets. Talking to strangers is definitely awkward at times, and yet every time I do it, I am amazed at how open people are.
Recently, I asked a girl, "what do you put your hope in?" She told me she believed in a higher power but that in her mind, all beliefs and all religions are basically the same. We may call it by different names, she explained, but I think we mean the same thing.
I listened carefully. When she was done, I summarized her perspective back to her, and she nodded and said, "Yeah, that's what I believe."
I responded, "I don't mean this to be harsh, but isn't that a little convenient? If I get to decide what's true, doesn't that really make me god? Also, what happens when my god contradicts yours? Let's say my god is into stealing. Would you be cool with that?"
She looked puzzled, and after thinking, said, "I guess that doesn't make sense."
She was open to my challenge because I listened carefully and took the time to really understand her point of view.
We cannot afford to waste time with straw man arguments. Let's take the time to first understand and then respond to the actual person we are speaking with.
This kind of understanding requires patience and humility. Humility because we have to recognize the value of someone else's perspective. Patience because it's easier to just assume we know what someone believes than to actually know.
People's perspectives are rarely simple. The greatest way you can honor someone else is to so thoroughly understand them and their views that you can articulate it better than they can.